THE SHARP KNIFE - one of his best works ever

First of all, Id like to say KUDOS to Sun tv. They must either have one brave PR team or one equally dumb decision making team. All said, their decision to air SABARI - THE SHARP KNIFE featuring our gabdun was a brave (and ludicrous) step forward in trying to rejuvenate ramanarayanan type movies.

Guys, you must have noticed a dangerous trend in this site. Both movies i have tried to reviewed till now have been gabdun's movies. Please understand that this is a coincidence that was decided by powers that are strictly completely out of my gondrol.

SABARI - THE SHARP KNIFE has our beloved (ok...i know many of u will probably disagree) gabdun playing the....wait for it










wait for it.......











wait for it........coz this is going to legendary....











CHIEF DOCTOR OF THE GOVT GENERAL HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!

oh yes!! They went all out on this one too. Apparently, gabdun spent a year of resursh and camped at the govt hospital to make sure that he got what the docs do. He found out that, as in the case of any govt company, the doctors dont do much. Since he couldnt incorporate this into the movie (image damage aagumam) and since he was hell bent on playing the doctor, he decided to create two villains and the usual hooblah.

The villains in this movie are the usual allakais that come as the thunai rowdies in all the big budget movies. The main villain is the guy who played the villain in ghajini (hated him back then, hate him now). Believe it or not, this is the very same guy that played the role of "ASHWATTHAMA" in the original mahabharatha (yea...i know....guys who saw the original, this is ur cue to be shocked......classic case of EPPIDI IRUNDA NAA, IPPADI AAYITTEN!!!)


Now guys, I know im not following the norm over here. But due to a divine intervention from a guy who helped me dodge a bullet from upstairs, there was a power cut for half an hour. So, I missed about 30 minutes of the movie. That dint stop me from reviewing this great piece of work did it?? Anyways, I just saw the top 10 movies….so I thought id list the top moments of this movie :P

Top moment no 6:

Definitely the dance sequences. Gabdun thought that this was a golti movie and has gone all out in trying to copy the chiranjivi style steps. Guess he thought hed win the election like chiranjivi or something….oh shit…wait…I AM talking abt a golti movie I saw on teja sterday….had gabdun in it….sorry guys…got mixed up…but yes…the dance sequences were amazing in the sharp knife with gabdun wearing matching colors to jyothirmayee (btw…the sharp knife = her last movie). INDA EDATTA ERKANAVE NARAYA ALASITTADALA ADUTTA EDAMANA ANJAVUDU EDATTUKU POVOM :P


Top moment no 5:

Malavika. No….not in THAT sense. I meant the scene involving malavika and gabdun. I don’t know if you have noticed this, but our gabdun has tried to bring out his (plz modulate the next few words in vadivelu style) love mood. The worst part of this is that he thinks he pulled it off in stlye. Only, we know the truth. So back to the story. Gabdun rams malavika (malavika ve ivaru idikkiraram le)…..and malavika does an excellent job of not dying…(but im sure she must have thought to herself “mudumalai le irukka vendiyadu ellam enna orasuna ennoda market enga poga povudo???”). This incidentally was her last movie. EVER. The icing on the cake is what she tells next. Gabdun idichifies her and malavika says “once more idichitu pongale plz”!!! yea….i knoe…I understand….no wonder she retired.



Top moment no 4:

The start for this movie, as is the case of every gabdun movie, is one of a kind. Begins with a bunch of ppl faking heart attacks and getting admitted to gh to avoid the high court. our veera gabdun takes an aruval and starts yelling "naa oru nimusam tayam taren. Yaravudu vyadi illadavanga inga irunda (aaung), avangala vetti pottuduven." A different thing about this movie is that the villains start with the punch dialogues ( :-D). One of them remarks "ivaru doctora illena oor ellaya kaakara ayyanara????? (?).

Inda edatteyum naraya padattule alasittadala, iduvarai kaanatha gabdun moment ku povoma??

Top moment no 3:

The cell phone oprason. There were 6 gabdun moments in this that showed how much he researched on the whole doctor thing.

Gabdun moment 1:
Gabdun enters the operation theatre, takes one look at the girl and asks “body tayaara irukka??”

Gabdun moment 2:

while our gab is performing and important oprason, the power goes off at the gh. The explanation they give is that “dogdor (yea I laughed for this one bad), bagub gunrador ekipmunt ku daan vela seyyum, ada vechi inda area ku light adikka mudiyadu” (additional doctors kadaikkale nu anda padattoda lightman e ellam extra va potta….). When they say that, our gab tells them to whip their cell phone out, and performs the operation under the cell lights!!!! Talk about technology innovative. They did a lot of CGI with the operation itself. All the profs and research comities around the world were put to shame. A CERN official apparently saw the movie and committed suicide from manic depression. Now we don’t know if the suicide was due to gabdun or the cell phone technique

Gabdun moment no 3:
Gabdun got the idea of operation and automobile repair wrong. Patti paathu tinkering panna try panirukkaru. There is a point in the operation where he actually asks the nurse for a screw driver!!

Gabdun moment no 4:
The only thing gabdun got right is the post operation procedure of informing the family. He apparently did this in one shot (an achievement for gabdun). He goes to the family and says “OBERASUN SUGSESS!!”. Oh god….pathetic much??? He apparently wanted to say, Boys, let us begin the mizzon….but figured that it would look out of place (aama, ivan operation panrade out of place, idula ivan solradu out of place a irunda enna, illena enna???)

Top moment no 2:

Idayatulle panna vendiya oberasun e gabdun vayathula pannitaru :P. Gabdun oda cardiology logic le oru sumal size otta irukku (and no…this not ottai in the heart). I bet that everyone who reads this thinks it’s a better fit if we interchange two words in that last sentence….but we don’t wanna sound perverted now do we????

Top moment no 1

This seriously is THE top moment. There is a point in the movie where the villains seriously wound gabdun. They find out that he is alive after that vicious attack and search every hospital in tn and cant find him. They say that “avanukku irukkara kaayathukku avan hospital le daan treatment edukkanum”.

Inga daan director oru dist vekkararu. Gabdun gets treatment in a veterinary hospital!!!(yea I know….the only logical moment in the world….after I saw this, everything in life started making sense…I realized the true meaning for life….I got enlightenment…:P)

More logic is followed when a police man stops in front of the hospital and asks his driver “inga surch pannigala ya?”…the driver replies “idu vet hospital saar!” to which the police man immediately responds “appo inga daan ya surch pannanum!!!!”

I think if the guy was a real policeman, id recommend him the bharat ratna or something. However, since this is not the case, id probably end up recommending ….honestly I don’t know any award for genocide….but hey…that’s life innit.

So….At the end of the movie, Gabdun and the audience collectively figure out that life is a cycle (“namma evolo vegatulla midikkiromo, avolo vegatthula daan adu pogum…..”) that will continue indefinitely. Honestly, it took some really bad acting and 3 hrs of crappy film for the gab to realize this. He could have just asked me and id have shown him how much his life sucks.

Gabdun drives a brand new swift in the movie. They apparently tried to sell it to the kayalangadai and he refused to buy it saying “yaanai velayaditu pona vandi ellam vangardu ille saar”. They took 3hrs of convincing, aka, they screened the movie for the guy, he gave them 50gms of pericha pazham…which the gab took home :P

Ps – no explanation has been given till now for the inclusion of the sharp knife into the movie title.
Ps – gabs name is “sabarivasan”….one of my best friends (sabarish :P) is still hiding from us in shame. @saba dei…it was out of your gondrol
Ps – there are no more ps’….go and watch the movie……at your own risk….oh yea…please see all the safety precaution that I had earlier included for the “mariyathai” movie :P

COMING UP

Dudes....whatever you do....dont forget to see the sunday sun tv at 4 o clock. It seriously caught my attention. i think the movies name is "Ellam Avan Sayal". The hero looks like a cross between our gab and his golti contemporary balakrishna. Dont miss it for the world.

Review of Mariyadai

Mariyadai – A must C

There are some movies that entertain you, and then there are some that ENTERTAIN you. Mariyadai belongs to the rare latter class of movies. This is a movie which was meant to be a centimental melodramitic overture of relationship, love, yadahyadahyaday (not relevant indormado!). But then again, considering the fact that this is a vikraman movie acted by vijaykanth,vijaykanth,vijaykanth,vijaykanth(double role aama), meena and meera jasmine with ramesh khanna as the irritating alla kai who cracks those lame jokes that get forwarded to you by those annoying friends, id say that the team came through. The director wanted this movie to be extremely logcal and thus meticulously planned every scene.

However, only the vikraman and vijaykanth combo can make a centi movie to a full track comedy movie. The movie starts in typical vikraman style with a boy outside a ottu veedu looking up at the sun. The mom asks “en pa eppo paarthalum sooranaye paatukitu irukke” to which the boy replies “sooriyanukku mesai irunda eppidi irukkum nu yossikkiren”. Predictably, the mom replies “idu enna kelvi, namma annamalai iyya madirie irukkum pa”. Even more predictably, some cheap flash animation creates a mush, kannu, kadu, mooku and vayi and voila, we have our father GABDUN entry in the movie.

The first 15 minutes of the movie is basically based the son gabdun’s childhood and our father gabdun’s way of life. Our gabdun is the ambani/naatamai/minor kunju/major kunju/CM/PM/Vetti officer..................... of the village. He is very well respected (as is every main char in vikraman’s movie) by the village. He is the (super)model father of the village. Vikraman cleverly(???) draws an analogy by using Thalaivasal Vijay. TV is the typical tamil panBAADU father. He insists that his son become a doctor (“naan dan doctor aaga mudiyalai. Nee avudu doctor aayidu ra”) while our gabdun tells our son gabdun (“unakku enna pudikkumo, adu padi (aaung)). The son gabdun, much to the surprise of the audience chooses BSc agri. I think they were expecting gabdun to be associated with the military in some way or the other. It just didn’t happen in this movie.

The movie jooms forward a few years and we c the father gabdun living in relative squalor. He has apparantly lost his wealth (again, as in the case of every vikraman movie) and has let his huge palacial house for rent. Since our gabdun is karna’s cousin brother, he gives away most of the rent to the well being of the village. Nizhalgal ravi asks our gabdun to let his daughter (meera jasmine) stay in gabdun’s house for 6months (logical!). the logic he gives is “kanda hostel e vida unga veetle security adigam” which made me think “dei loosu baadu, avan veetikku poi un ponnu vazhkaye seeru azhinji poga povudu”. Gabdun says “(aung) en veetle ippo avolo vasadhi ille(aung)”. NR convinces gabdun. Gabdun goes and changes the look of his house. Now his house looks in decent condition.

An interesting scene in the movie is when our father gabdun goes to gangotri(LOL). The waiter thinks he is a patti kattan and mistreats him. The hotel owner then recognizes gabdun and comes and falls on his feet (hotel owner is raamki – indha avamaanam avanukku tevaya??). Apparantly, he was our gabdun’s velaikkaran’s son. Now a bigshot hotel owner in chennai (vikraman is basically trying to tell you that your life is screwed if you take Bsc agri). Waiter feels bad and gabdun gives him 100 rupees (logical again due to gabduns blood line).

Meera Jasmine turns out to be a bubby vayasu ponnu (yuck!!!...that thought still gives me a bad stomach....iva vayasu ponnu na vayasu ponne enna nu da koopiduvinga???) who pranks ramesh khanna. RK being the alla kai has to undergo the torture along with us. She is apparantly an iyer atthu ponnu who loves non-veg. This lack of logic is well explained in the later part of the story. She adapts to the simple life very quickly. She eats kali along with the rest of the family and sleeps on the jute bed without pillows etc. One interesting point to note is that our son gabdun is absent all this time.

Our son gabdun’s intro is very subtle. He completely ignores meera jasmine. He never talks to her. MJ thinks that he hates her (logical assumption) and tells this to ammu (sister character). Gabdun ends up buying MJ the “most expensive” samudriga pattu for diwali. He apparantly doesn’t know her name and ends up calling her “adhu”. Gabdun later slaps MJ when she tells her dad how HOT he is (LOL!!!...avana vayasu payyan nu solrade jananga othukka matanga....idulle nalla sooku adikkararu nu sonna evan nambuvaan??). Ammu then tells us the flash back for the finance problem.

Flash back begins predictably. Father Gabdun is now semi-retired and son gabdun is beginning to take over. “Enge annanukku vevasayathule edavudu saadikkanum nu very irindudu” is ammu’s narration to which i thought “edavudu poi pudunga sollu”. Father gabdun forgives his son when he incures a loss of 5 lacs. The family is shown as a close knit family with gabdun playing tirudan police with his sister. He is chasing her in the first scene of the flash back. He is nowhere near catching her (predictably) and has a better chance of becoming CM of the state than catching her. They have 151 acres of land which a guy from Bombay wants to set up a chemical factory. Father gabdun says no. Meena then gives an appearance in a bank and its love at first sight for our vayasu payyan gabdun. It was interesting to see our gabdun being struck with jolstrophilia. Vayule irundu litre litre a jollu uuthi vazhinjikkite pesuvaru. He finds her phone in the washbasin of a hotel and tells her that hel return the phone to her.

He convinces meena to teach his sister music (the oldest trick in the village style wooing handout) and site adichifies her when she comes to his house. He then goes to a singing competion that meena attended and tells his family that he is going to a temple. Meena then confesses her undying love for our son gabdun and asks him to marry her. To make things logical, ramesh khanna buys biriyani (without puska) as koil prasadam (??????) and karuppu kayaru on the behest of our gabdun. An obvious flaw in this other completely logical movie is the fact that the puska manages to come into the biriyani.

Father gabdun gives his permission and voila we have another song. This is one of the highlights of the movie. It shows how much love the family has. The pic below must give you an idea of the horror that the audience had to go through. Gabdun finds out that meena owes a seth 5 lacs + 3lacs interest. He signs a paper saying that hel pay her money after the marraige.



Then, the audience are led to the biggest scam in history. Meena turns out to be a double crosser (omg!!) and is actually sampath’s fiancee(honestly ive never seen a guy who is in love with his own name...dude...i say this bcoz i care....GET A NEW NAME!!). The paper that our gabdun signed was actually his 151 acres!! Sampath is the local mla’s son who has brokered the deal with the bombay party. Meena is sampath’s fiancee. Our gabdun is shell shocked as meena dumped him (understandably) in the manavarai. Thus, he begins to distrust all women (thus the audience have to connect to the first scene where he ignores meera jasmine...its not bcoz shes ugly...its just that gabdun was in character).

Thus ends the flashback. Meera Jasmine now takes an oath saying that she will marry gabdun ( she had to undergo an entire session of therapy with her shrink and had to endure hours of practice to say those lines). A caption “MUDIYUMA” punctuates the intermission. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that mudiyuma has two meanings. Firstly, vikraman is asking the audience if theyl be able to sit through the second half. The entire row in front of me shouted kandippa mudiyadu and left. We braved all odds and stayed on for the second half. Secondly, he is asking if meera jasmine has it in her to act as gabdun’s lover.

U guys have to realize that ive typed my guts out...and ive only completed the first half. Vikraman wanted to finish the movie without an intermission so that none of the poor unlucky idiots who turn up for this movie can escape (they were suggesting on locking the door, but the theatre owners turned it down). Many of them had a glazed look in their eye and were in desperate need of psychiatric attention.

The second half is relatively small compared to the first. The only highlight is that our gabdun converts tarisu nelam (useless land for want of a better term...not porambokku (our gab)...just land that cannot be fertilized) into useful land by using new technique in horticulture and “greenhouse” effect (yea...i know wat ur thinking). The son gabdun is out to destroy meena’s life. He goes where she goes and tells her to either come with him of give him his sothu back. Sampath later reveals that he would go to any length to get his hands on the sothu when meena requests him to give the land back out of sheer irritation by our gab. Father gabdun watches meera jasmine come our from a “surch” and tells “omen” instead of “amen” when he is talking to meera jasmine. MJ reveals that she is not Nizhalgal ravi’s daughter but an anadai who was brought up in shivananda gurukulam (the reason for the “surch” going is not revealed....yet another flaw in this otherwise timeless classic). She is meena’s friend. She thinks that meena has done an injustice to the family and wants to repay this betrayal by sealing her life with our gabdun. The entire family accepts her as they knoe they aren’t gonna get another girl for our son gab.

The minister (as is usually the case in all gabdun’s movie...except in this one, its not the defence min), visits his horticulture greenhouse and says that gabdun is a genius. He cancels the lease of the chemical plant which leaves sampath, the mla and the bombay guy worried. Sampath now stands to lose 500 crores. He sends gangbanger homeys to adichi norikkify the place and meena becomes good samaritan and warns son gab.....and we have the only peice of akson in the movie. Our spideygab saves the day without breaking a single glass pane of the greenhouse.

Nazar makes a cameo as a good rich guy who allows his son to marry ammu. He tells father gab “unga ponne tangam...tangam ku edukku tangam??na 150 poun le unga ponnuku naga podren(???)” The marriage is a hit and father gab presents a car to the maapilai.

All is well that ends well. This one doesn’t. The last 15 minutes is a recap of the entire movie. Watching it once was unbearable enough......listening to what hapnd again???

The movie ended on a happy note. The audience were unhappy with our lot as we had laughed ourself hoarse during the movie.

PS: we laughed so much that all of them were looking at us even when we were going down the stairs.
PSS:One word of caution...do not go alone.
PSSS: Even if you go in groups, heart patients, pregnant women, patients with mental disabilites should not be allowed to watch the song sequences. Pregnant women ku kora presavathule kozhanda porakkum, ara loosung full fledged mental aayidum...heart patients mela ticket vangiduvanga (indha padatukku ticket vangunade periya vishayam, ore naal le melaku kuda va ticket vanganum??)